“The question is not what you look at, but what you see.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
Most of us have been told it’s important to like yourself. That doesn’t mean valuing yourself above others, which can be a sign of arrogance or even narcissism. But truly liking yourself—or holding yourself in high esteem—leads to strong mental health, better relationships, and greater success. Many of us are familiar with the phrase “love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Yet for someone with low self-esteem, loving yourself can seem like a foreign concept.
Self-esteem is not just about how we look on the outside. It’s a personal assessment that comes from within us. It’s the way we value and see ourselves and involves self-respect and how we compare ourselves to others.
Our self-esteem affects almost every area of our lives, such as how we assert ourselves, make decisions, take risks, accept mistakes, and more. Those with low self-esteem are often more prone to depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns.
Low self-esteem can often be traced to abusive or non-supportive relationships in childhood or to traumatic events. These experiences set the pattern for the way we see ourselves. But the good news is patterns can be changed.
7 Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem
If you’re struggling with the way you view yourself, here are some things that can help:
- Surround yourself with supportive people. Make purposeful choices to spend time with people who lift you up. Don’t waste time on people who constantly make you feel bad about yourself.
- Make positive self-talk a discipline. Negative thoughts often come as our default setting. But thoughts aren’t facts. They’re just words. When you catch yourself being negative, tell yourself positive things. If you think, “I hate my life,” prove yourself wrong by saying all the things you love about your life. For example, “I love my children. I love that I have a place to live and can pay my bills. I love my peppermint mocha coffee creamer.” One way to do this is through a gratitude journal where you record things you’re thankful for and periodically read back through your previous lists.
- Fake it till you make it. If you don’t feel confident or capable, pretend to be a person with high self-esteem. How would that person act? Look people in the eyes. Smile. Shake hands. How would that person talk to themselves? Good job. You did your best, and you learned something. Next time, your best will be even better.
- Accept yourself. Everyone has good points and bad points. People with healthy self-esteem recognize their own good qualities in a way that shows respect for their contributions and abilities but doesn’t devalue those around them. They also accept their weaknesses, admit mistakes, and strive for improvement. Mistakes aren’t set-in-stone evaluations of your worth. They’re fleeting moments in time.
- Accept compliments. When someone praises you, smile and say thank you, and then move on. Don’t tell them they’re wrong or brush it off.
- Be a good friend—to yourself! If you wouldn’t say something to a dear friend, don’t say it to yourself. Be kind, gentle, and encouraging.
- Seek professional support. Because low self-esteem often has deep roots, you may benefit from a therapist who can help you sort out your thought patterns and help you establish new ones.
The higher your self-esteem, the more content you’ll be with your life. For some, high self-esteem comes naturally, while others struggle with this concept. But wherever you fall on the scale, you can work to improve your personal outlook in order to achieve greater life satisfaction.
The way you relate to yourself is one of the most important relationships you have, and it’s worth whatever work it takes to make it a positive one. High self-esteem allows you to be kind to yourself, helps you bounce back from problems, and gives you the confidence to pursue your dreams.
©2024 Amplified Life Network