Trauma Support

 

Fear is a normal and even beneficial part of life. In times of danger, fear triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response, alerting us to stay on guard. However, a person struggling with PTSD experiences a reaction whether danger is real or perceived.

 

PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is most often associated with war veterans, but anyone is susceptible after a traumatic event. Nearly 3.5% of Americans suffer from PTSD after such events, which might include physical abuse, a car accident, natural disasters, sexual assault, or any other traumatic situation.

 

EVALUATE YOUR STRESS MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES

 

Physical, emotional, and mental symptoms are natural after a trauma. However, if they persist after several weeks or months, it’s important to check in with your doctor or a mental health professional. An official PTSD diagnosis might be warranted.  Symptoms  include  three  major categories:

 

• Re-experiencing  –  Often  triggered  by  words, thoughts, or situations.
• Flashbacks or reliving the trauma
• Scary thoughts, nightmares
• Avoidance – Switching up a routine to prevent re-experiencing thoughts.
• Avoiding places that remind you of the event
• Feeling guilty, depressed, or emotionally numb
• Losing interest in enjoyable activities
• Hyperarousal – Experiencing heightened emotions.
• Difficulty sleeping
• Angry outbursts
• Easily startled or tensed

 

Substance   abuse,   depression,   and   anxiety disorders can also accompany PTSD. If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, ask for help or call a suicide hotline immediately. .

 

RISKS AND TREATMENT

 

PTSD is more likely to affect those with a family history  of  mental  illness,  no  social  support network, or a history of childhood trauma. Your brain’s chemical response to stress is also a contributor. You can reduce your PTSD risk with healthy coping strategies, such as leaning on family or friends, attending a support group, and eliminating self-blame.

 

Those  seeking  PTSD  treatment  typically use medication, psychotherapy, or both. Talk therapy is also effective to practice anger management, identify  guilt  or  shame,  and  learn  relational techniques. If your loved one is struggling with PTSD,  remember  to  give  them  space  when needed. If they’re seeking help, don’t pressure them to talk about everything with you too.

 

ACTION STEPS

 

✓  Identify – Make a list of any symptoms you have and how long you’ve experienced them. Write down anything helpful for your doctor, including past events triggering intense fear, medications you use, and other diagnoses. Consider   bringing   someone   along   to appointments to help you remember any information.

✓  Practice self-care – Proper rest, a healthy diet, and exercise are beneficial. Avoid self- medicating with alcohol and drugs.

✓  Seek community – Isolating yourself from people who  care  about you won’t  help. You don’t need to talk openly about the event, just spend time with those who care. Also,  consider  finding  a  support  group. Community resources or your doctor can help you find the right one for you.

 

KEEP IN MIND

PTSD is not something you need to battle alone. Turn to others, personal or professional, to  receive  help  and  learn  healthy  coping strategies. What  positive  steps  will  you  take  today  to address PTSD and move towards a healthier life?

 Want to talk to a counselor today about this? 

Call us at 800-453-7733 and ask for your “Free 15 Minute Phone Consultation" with one of our licensed counselors. We’ll listen, answer questions you may have, and help you plan next steps.

When a Loved One Dies

 

Dealing with the emotions that follow the death of a loved one can make any task difficult. Planning the funeral and facilitating the process of getting matters in order can add stress to an already challenging situation. Having some direction can help to make sure that the proper steps are taken, and that nothing important is overlooked.

 

Immediate Checklist

 

After a loved one dies, first reactions can vary from depression to anger to shock, and anything in between. While you might feel lost, confused, or helpless, there are some important steps that need to be taken as soon as possible following the death of your loved one. The sooner these actions can be carried out, the sooner you can guarantee that communication is moving forward that will work to honor the life of the deceased, and protect assets and other wishes through legal and administrative matters.

 

1. Arrange Transportation: Your loved one might have died at a hospital or other facility. If so, ask about the procedure for storage and delivery of the body to a funeral home or other location. If the death occurred elsewhere, calling 911 is the best place to start. Selecting a funeral home as soon as possible, and notifying them, will also be helpful as they can help with transporting the body of the deceased to the right locations. If the deceased was an organ donor, notifying medical staff as soon as possible can make sure that this wish can be carried out to save other lives.
2. Make Contact: Call close family and friends of the deceased. This can help to identify who knew what funeral arrangements the deceased might have specified, and can help to locate these details to help with the next steps. It is also a thoughtful step to take, and could be helpful to designate certain people to do this job.
3. Secure Valuables: To prevent any further difficulties, ask someone to check on the property of the deceased. Make sure the car, home, and other valuables are locked or taken care of. If the deceased had pets, arrange for care.
4. Plan the Funeral: Having written instructions from the deceased can be helpful with this step. If there are no written directions, consider involving those closest to the deceased and facilitate a conversation to organize the arrangements. This will include details such as if a religious tradition should be involved, choosing cremation or burial, contributions to a charity, and if there will be a meal after any services.
5. Prepare the Obituary: Consider what information you may want to include and to look into newspaper rates and other guidelines.
6. Take Care of Matters: Having a few certified copies of the Death Certificate will help to complete taking care of financial, administrative, and other estate issues. A few places to consider contacting include
   • Secretary of State to cancel the Driver’s License and prevent identity theft
   • Insurance Companies to cancel payment and tie up loose ends
   • Credit Card companies to cancel cards and check about interest rates and payments that need to be made
   • Banks and other financial institutions
   • Probate attorney, lawyer, or whoever has knowledge of executing a will that was left by the deceased
   • Utility companies to cancel and pay bills
   • Other social media, technology, or email accounts may need to be shut down.
7. Self-Care: With all of the necessary responsibilities and heightened emotions, it can be tough to take time to grieve and to speak with your loved ones. Remember to ask for help and to take care of your basic needs, including food, hygiene, and relationships.

 

Funeral Assistance

 

Some people might have prepared for funeral expenses by paying early on. If you are not familiar with funeral costs, familiarize yourself with the Funeral Rule, enforced by the Federal Trade Commission, so you know what funeral homes are obligated to do to ensure that prices are fair.

 

If you find yourself in need of assistance in paying for a funeral, consider these options:

• Ask for Help: Friends and family might be willing to pitch in, so don’t think that finances are only left to you. Some people have used crowdfunding or fundraising to make this a reality. Other sources of help could include the employer of the deceased, or leadership of any groups that the deceased was involved with; sometimes they have programs to help with funeral costs. Another option could include donating the body to science.
• Organizations: Some non-profit organizations have programs to help the community cover funeral costs. The Salvation Army and Red Cross are two examples, and Angel names and The SIDS Foundation offer assistance for infants. There are also state or federal assistance programs available, and can be reached by contacting your county’s Coroner. Keep in mind, that some qualification might be required for these.
• Veteran Benefits: Keep in mind that if your loved one was a veteran, there might be extra assistance or options for the funeral to consider.

 

Want to talk to a counselor today about this? 

Call us at 800-453-7733 and ask for your “Free 15 Minute Phone Consultation" with one of our licensed counselors. We’ll listen, answer questions you may have, and help you plan next steps.

 

Sources

• http://www.planningafuneral.com/important-information.aspx
• https://www.funeralwise.com/etiquette/how-to-dress-for-a-funeral/
• http://www.legalvoice.org/after-death-occurs-checklist
• https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-06-2012/when-loved-one-dies-checklist.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Being sexually abused as a child can have lasting effects on an individual. Sexual abuse can take many forms: exposure, spying without permission, genital contact, penetration, sexual jokes, exploitation, pornography, and other types of interaction are some examples. Often, the abuse is done by a person who the child already knows or trusts. The effects of the abuse as an adult will depend on a variety of factors, and the good news is that support is available and healing is possible.

Understanding Trauma

Some common symptoms of trauma include:

• Changes in sleep, appetite, or energy levels
• Health issues, including pain, headaches, stomachaches, and others
• Trouble concentrating
• Self-blame, shame, guilt
• Increased fear and hypervigilance
• Dissociation, feeling disconnected or numb
• Flashbacks
• Anger or thoughts of revenge
• Depression, despair, hopelessness
• Suicidal ideation
• Decreased trust and increased relationship problems

Experiencing a trauma is often a life-changing event. Some individuals will develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and many will experience symptoms that change their lifestyle. Trauma changes the perception of the world and people in it. Exactly how a trauma will influence an individual is hard to tell, but research has shown that these factors can provide information:

• Frequency of the event – In general, the more often an individual experienced the traumatic event, the more severe the impact can be.
• Relationship with the perpetrator – Having a close relationship with the person prior to the abuse can have a more severe impact, especially if the perpetrator was a family member.
• Intensity of the event – As the intensity of the abuse increases, so too can the effect on the individual.
• Age at time of the event – The younger an individual was, the more likely it is that abuse can have a more serious impact.
• Level of support to individual – The more support an individual has prior to, during, or after the event the more likely for healing and the easier it can be for the individual to recover.
• Beliefs of the individual – Different life perspectives and beliefs can dramatically influence a person’s experience and opinion on the trauma and recovery.

It is important to remember that while some of these patterns have been observed, an individual who has been sexually abused has had their rights violated. Even once instance of inappropriate sexual contact can be traumatic and have an influence on life choices.  

Specific Issues

Those who experienced sexual abuse as children may grow up to have a higher chance of developing the following concerns:

• Depression
• Negative self-image
• Pervasive guilt, shame, or self-blame
• Body image issues, Eating Disorders
• Chronic health concerns, pain, somatic complaints
• Avoiding routine healthcare and dental checkups
• Stress and Anxiety
• Trouble developing relationships, including:
  • Fear of intimacy
  • Difficulty establishing boundaries
  • Getting into abusive relationships
• Sexual difficulties, including but not limited to:
  • Avoiding sex
  • Lack of interest in sex
  • Approaching sex as an obligation
  • Difficulty becoming aroused or experiencing orgasm
  • Pain during sex
  • Feeling distant during sex
  • Utilizing compulsive or inappropriate sexual behaviors

Healing

Finding relief from trauma symptoms is possible. One of the biggest hurdles that adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse face is overcoming the stigma and shame of telling someone of the past abuse. Men especially may find it difficult to share that they were sexually abused. For most, it is easier to avoid the thoughts, feelings, and any reminders of the abuse. All of this can prevent any progress of healing, as isolation, fear, and dysfunctional behaviors can take over.

This first obstacle can be defeated when a person finds a safe relationship in which to confide. This might be a friend, counselor, or staff member at a Sexual Abuse Crisis Center. Many times, people are encouraged to share about their past after hearing a similar story that provides hope and encouragement. Having the proper support can make a tremendous difference in the process of healing.

Trauma informed care is one approach to healing, and can be applied in a variety of ways. It includes being educated about trauma and the effects it has on an individual.  It also proposes concepts such as safety, trust, choice, community, empowerment, and a cultural perspective. These concepts, in addition to supportive relationships, help the individual to regain an understanding of how sexual abuse as a child influenced any previous patterns of coping, and how they can regain the ability to take their life in a direction of their choice. Trauma informed care is often provided in counseling/therapy or through interactions with support groups at Crisis Centers or other service agencies. Care should always be provided by a trained individual.

Some components of healing include:

• Building skills to help manage symptoms of trauma as well as how to engage in healthy relationships.
• Educating about trauma.
• Encouraging communication of internal experiences such as feelings, thoughts, and any flashbacks or other concerns. Most survivors have spent years keeping these silent, so encouraging communication in appropriate settings is beneficial and helps teach how to utilize emotions in a productive way.
• Strategizing for various circumstances, such as going on a date, attending family reunions, going to the doctor for a physical, or any other event that proves to be problematic.
• Engaging in non-verbal therapies such as yoga, running, gardening, working with animals, art, or other formats. These methods help individuals to regain a sense of connection to their physical experiences in a positive way and can provide excellent adjuncts to other forms of healing.

How to Seek and Offer Support

If you are looking for support, you can do an online search for local agencies that provide counseling and other services for adult survivors of sexual abuse. Organizations like the YMCA and YWCA could be a good place to start, and often offer childcare services. You can also check with your insurance for mental health benefits, or look up local agencies that provide mental health services at a decreased cost, as long as you qualify.

If you are the loved one of a survivor, you can participate in the healing process in multiple ways. Firstly, you can educate yourself about trauma and begin to have conversations that encourage understanding and developing options for how you can offer the proper support needed. Building trust, choice, and long-term connection can help the individual overcome different social problems. If you are the partner of a survivor, these skills can eventually help to resolve any sexual concerns, too.  

 

Want to talk to a counselor today about this? 

Call us at 800-453-7733 and ask for your “Free 15 Minute Phone Consultation" with one of our licensed counselors. We’ll listen, answer questions you may have, and help you plan next steps.

 

Sources

• http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/Publications_RSP_Action-engagement-remembering-services-for-adult-survivors-child-sexual-abuse.pdf
• https://www.rainn.org/articles/adult-survivors-child-sexual-abuse
• https://www.counseling.org/docs/disaster-and-trauma_sexual-abuse/long-term-effects-of-childhood-sexual-abuse.pdf?sfvrsn=2