family

“AMA policy adopted last year identifies loneliness as a public health issue that affects people of all ages.” ~ American Medical Association

February is the month of love and connection. But what if you don’t feel connected? In a January 2020 (pre-lockdown) survey of 10,000 adults, 61% said they were lonely. And loneliness is more than just a mental health issue. It’s been linked to increased heart problems, stroke, and other medical issues. 

According to psychiatrist Dr. Tiffani Bell Washington, MD, MPH, “Loneliness is essentially the feeling of being uncomfortable or in distress when someone feels that there is a gap between the connection they would like and the connection they actually have... You can be in a crowd full of people, you can know all of them, and you can still feel lonely.” 

She added that superficial social connections, no matter how many, don’t really decrease loneliness. “What you really want is something deeper—someone to know you on the inside,” she said. “It's really based on perception of the difference between the relationship you'd like and the relationship that you have with others.”

Types of Loneliness

Loneliness and social isolation are two sides to the same coin. As stated above, a person can be lonely in a crowd. But many people are also at risk for social isolation. These include marginalized populations, older people, and those in remote areas. Either way, the lack of connection to others is detrimental because humans are hard-wired for connection. 

How to Combat Loneliness

When it comes to “fixing” the problem of loneliness, there are two major things to consider: connection with others and connection with ourselves (being content while alone). 

Connecting with others doesn’t have to mean going to crowded places or attending parties every week. Since we long for others who really “get” us, it’s helpful to find those who share our interests, values, and backgrounds. Writers, for example, tend to work in isolation. As a profession, they are often considered introverts. But attending writer’s conferences and joining writer’s groups—either locally or online, offers connection for people who share similar interests and who often view life in comparable ways.

Ways to Connect with Others

• Consider your interests and hobbies, and find groups who share those. If you live in a remote area, find an online group that meets online. 

• Join a community or volunteer organization. Look for someone else who looks lonely and befriend them. 

• Take your lunch to a park or other place and people watch. Even if you don’t talk to anyone, just being around other humans can help you feel less lonely. 

• Find creative ways to connect. If you live far from family and friends, set up online appointments to meet for coffee, dinner, online games, or even watch a movie or sporting event. You can use these to join birthday parties and holiday gatherings too.

• Make a large group smaller. If you’re already in a large group that makes you feel lonely, invite a few people you have something in common with and start a group within a group. This can be a study group, a book club, a dinner club, or anything else that brings a deeper connection.   

Ways to Connect with Yourself (Hint: Self-Care!)

• Learn to relish your alone time. Schedule appointments with yourself to do things you really want to do, that you need to do alone, anyway. Get a massage or a facial. Take a bubble bath. Turn on some of your favorite music, light a candle, read a novel. 

• Reorganize or redecorate a room in your home. 

• Start a new hobby. YouTube is an excellent resource for learning to paint, play guitar, garden, or just about anything else you might be interested in. 

• Go outside. Talk a walk or a jog in a park or around your neighborhood, or simply enjoy a cup of tea while you listen to birdsong. 

• Talk to yourself. Tell yourself the things you’d say to your best friend, if they were feeling disconnected. Remind yourself that you’re amazing, interesting, intelligent, and fun. Do this every day—out loud or in your head. 

Several studies link loneliness with depression, immune suppression, and other health problems. If you’re feeling lonely, it’s important to combat the issue in any way you can. Sometimes you can do all the right things and the loneliness persists. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist who can help you explore ways to bridge the gap between the connections you want and the connections you have. You are worth the effort.

 

“Balance is not something you find; it’s something you create.”— Jana Kingsford, Time Management Author

When we think of the good ol’ days, we often cast a rosy hue on what once was. But when it comes to work/life balance, chances are our parents didn’t have a great one. It helped that they also didn’t have cell phones, internet, or social media, so when they were not at work, they may have been more mindfully engaged in the present. But they also lived in a world where working long hours was a sign of dedication and success. 

Now we know better. Research has shown, many times over, that productivity is not tied to the number of hours you sit at your desk. The truth is, the more time we spend at work, or thinking about work, the more likely we are to get burned out. Burnout leads to lower productivity, less job satisfaction, and increased health risks. A better work/life balance leads to improved efficiency and better overall health. If you’re wondering where to start, we’ve got you covered. 

How Do Life and Work Get Out of Balance? 

A first step is to identify things that may cause an imbalance. 

• Working long hours or working a lot of overtime. It’s important to disengage from work. That’s hard to do if you’re working all (or most of) the time.
• Little choice in work hours or not being able to take off when you need to. While most jobs have scheduling requirements, a rigid schedule without the choice for flexibility leads to stress and resentment.
• High-pressure, high-stress jobs. Some jobs come with higher levels of stress, such as the medical profession, law enforcement, and teaching. For these kinds of jobs, the ability to leave work behind and relax is crucial. 
• Unreasonable expectations. Whether these are self-imposed or come from your boss, this can lead to chronic stress. 

Ideas to Help Improve Work/Life Balance 

Once you name the reasons your work/life scale may be tipped too much to one side, it’s time to take a practical look at how you can make positive changes. 

Consider your personal and professional goals, and figure out what you must do to achieve those. If you want to grow professionally, set boundaries to make that happen. For example, spend x hours a month on professional development. If you want to spend more time with loved ones or pursue a hobby, set boundaries for those things. Boundaries are meant to protect. They draw lines so other things don’t encroach on that time and space. 

1. Learn to set boundaries. Set boundaries for others and let them know when they can expect you to respond to texts and emails and when you won’t be checking or responding. Set boundaries for yourself. Unless you’re on call, leave your work at work. It will be there when you get back. 
   
   
2. Tackle things in order of importance. Do your most important or most dreaded task first. If you can’t finish it, set a specific amount of time you’ll work on it, then move to the next item on your list. 

Delegate. Do what you need to do, and delegate tasks where you can.  

1. Think in terms of outcome, not office hours. Do your job and do it well. When it’s done, go home or log out if you can. If your job doesn’t allow you to do that, take some extra breaks. If your work is already done, you’ve earned it. 
   
   
2. Prioritize your health (both mental and physical). Use your breaks to take walks, listen to relaxing music, journal, or work on an office-friendly hobby.  When you leave each day, reward yourself with something that supports your overall wellness.
   
   
3. Put yourself—and your family—on the schedule. Those we love most often get put at the bottom of the list. Don’t do that! Make appointments to spend time enjoying the important people in your life.
   
   
4. Get away. Take a vacation (or staycation). You’ve earned your paid time off, so use it!

Achieving a healthy work/life balance can prevent burnout, chronic stress, and a load of health issues. No one ever looks back at their lives and wishes they’d spent more time at the office. When you get to the end of the year or the end of your days, you probably won’t regret time spent supporting joy, fun, and loving relationships.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are often spent with extended family—which can bring stress by itself. Add in the recent emotionally charged election and the divisiveness it’s caused, and this year’s holiday dinners have leveled up. 

In today’s political climate, people are moving away from politely expressing a differing view while respecting others’ opinions. Oftentimes, they’re not willing to keep the topic off the table, have an open discussion, or even remain civil. Where relationships might’ve been prioritized over political views in the past, lines have now been drawn in the sand. People have unfollowed others on social media, cancelled events, and shut down relationships with family and friends. 

It's not surprising that even the thought of coming together to share a meal can cause dread, tension, and anxiety over potential conflict. Even if you think you know someone well, you can’t always predict how they’ll react. And you can’t change them. But you can change the way you respond. Check out the strategies below to help you survive this year’s holiday dinners. 

Strategies to Survive Your Holiday Dinner

Set boundaries before and during the event. If you’re the host, send a text or an email to request that guests avoid polarizing topics. Politely remind them again as you sit down to dinner. If you’re the guest, decide ahead of time what you will and will not endure. If things get too much for you, excuse yourself as politely as possible, tell everyone you love them, wish them a happy holiday, and explain that you’re not feeling well and have to leave. 

Shift the Focus. When conversations veer into iffy territory, redirect. Ask lots of questions. People love to talk about themselves and their thoughts. The more questions you ask, the more you control the narrative. Tell a joke. Have a couple of corny “dad” jokes ready. When things get awkward, save the day with humor. Groans are better than heated stares. Suggest playing a game or watching a movie. 

Take a break. Scope out a place to decompress before you need it. Politely excuse yourself. Spend a few minutes scrolling through social media, watching funny cat videos, or listening to your favorite music. Take some deep breaths. 

Limit your time. It’s better to stay for an hour or two and leave on a good note. 

Strategies for What to Say to Avoid Political Conversation

• When you want to change the subject. “Can I interrupt? We need to talk about XYZ.” This approach changes the topic and gives you a way out. 

• When you want to disagree. “My opinion is different, but you make an interesting point.” This is a respectful way to disagree that also lets others feel heard. 

• When you need a break. “This isn’t something I want to talk about right now. Can we talk about X?” Most people will at least think about not pushing back once you’ve clearly stated you want to talk about something else. 

• When you feel uncomfortable. “For personal reasons, I’d rather not discuss this. Mind if we ditch this topic?” By being direct and honest, you can state your feelings without it being awkward.”

• When you’re stressed and need to shut a conversation down. “I respectfully disagree and think it would be best if we didn’t talk about it anymore.” This gives calm and respectful feedback while making your views clear.

• When someone gets emotional. “I see you feel strongly about this. I’m starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. Can we talk about something else?” When you say what’s happening for you personally, you can move forward in a way that’s respectful to both of you.

8 Strategies to Handle Conflict When It Arises

• Stay calm and civil. Getting angry, calling names, villainizing people, yelling, or arguing only escalates conflict. When you calmly respond to someone, they’re more likely to hear your viewpoint. 

• Agree to disagree. People see the same event from different viewpoints. Sometimes, it’s enough to acknowledge that it’s okay not to agree. 

• Separate people from their opinions. You can still care about and respect someone if their beliefs and choices differ from yours. 

• Acknowledge and validate both of your fears, anxieties, and anger, and focus on the relationship rather than the conflict.   

• Listen actively. Active listening communicates someone’s worth and helps you understand the thoughts, feelings, and emotions behind what they’re saying. Try to hear the assumptions, cultural values, and beliefs behind their message so you can “walk a few blocks in their shoes.” 

• Know your message. If possible, consider your own emotions and thoughts before a conflict occurs. Decide how you can best communicate your needs, interests, values, and principles ahead of time so you’re prepared to respond in a calm, respectful manner. 

• Use defusing speech and body language. 

• Choose “I” instead of “you” statements. Focus on the actual conflict instead of how you’re reacting to it. (“I feel frustrated when you tell me what my opinion should be.”)

• Avoid triggers. Stay away from exaggerated words (always or never), emotionally charged words, and aggressive nonverbal language (crossing your arms, rolling your eyes, pointing a finger, getting into someone’s personal space).

Keep in Mind

If you’re the one who wants to talk politics, be sensitive, and respectful. Try saying, “I’d like to hear your thoughts on X. Is that something you’d be interested in discussing with me?” Asking for permission gives others the opportunity to participate or to opt out of a discussion.

You can’t control others, but you can control yourself. Remember to be the person you wish everyone else was. Show grace and compassion. Treat others the way you want to be treated. And if the tension becomes too much, it’s okay to walk away.

According to popular music, Hallmark movies, and holiday greeting cards, this time of year is filled with peace, joy, and good tidings. But for many who have lost a loved one, that picture isn’t entirely accurate. Instead of joy, we feel sadness. Instead of peace, we feel anxiety. If you or someone you know is coping with loss this season, it’s important to remember that healing is a process. With significant loss, grief may always be present. However, it does dull with time as we learn to do life in new ways without that person.

If you’ve recently (or perhaps not so recently) experienced a significant loss, consider the following as you navigate the holidays: 

• Set boundaries. It's okay to not want to be around happy, festive people. Watching others carry on with their lives can be especially hard. If needed, feel free to turn down invitations. Thank people for their offers but tell them you’d rather celebrate alone this year. 
• Decorate as much or as little as you want. If putting up the tree makes you feel close to your loved one, do it. If stringing lights makes your grief more intense, don’t. You have a right to deal with the holidays in ways that feel right to you. 
• Make a plan. If you celebrate with others, drive yourself so you can leave when you’re ready, or ask a trusted friend or family member to drive you with that plan in mind. 
• Cry. Or laugh at old times. Whatever you do, let yourself feel what you feel and be okay with it. Don’t be afraid of the intense emotions that surface during this time. They’re part of the healing process. 
• Honor your loved one. Carry on their favorite holiday tradition or donate to a charity in their name. Do something to show yourself—and the world—that this person you loved is not forgotten. 
• Change it up. If doing the same things you did with your loved one makes you sad, it’s okay to come up with new traditions. Take a trip or make a new dish you’ve wanted to try. If there’s something you always wanted to do but your loved one wasn’t on board, consider doing it now.
• Volunteer. One of the quickest ways to get past our own pain is to reach out to others who are hurting. Bake a cake for a sick friend. Put in some time at a local food bank. It will get your mind off your grief, make you feel better, and bless others in the process.  
• Write a letter to your loved one. Let them know how you feel and how you’re managing without them. Just writing it down will help with the grief process. 
• Consider the young ones. Many holiday traditions are centered around children. Think about how they may feel if you don’t participate. Keep yourself in their lives, even if just for a few of the celebrations and traditions. 
• Reach out. Don’t be afraid to ask friends and family for help dealing with your grief. Most people want to be there for you, but they don’t know how. Tell them, and it may help with their own grieving process. 

If someone you know has lost a loved one, it can be difficult to know what to say or do. Below are some things to keep in mind as you show your support:  

• Offer, but don’t insist. Ask the person to join you at holiday gatherings but be understanding if the answer is no. Give an open invitation, and don’t be surprised if they change their mind at the last minute. They may initially accept and then back out. Or they may say no, only to decide later they want to take part.
• Listen without judgment. Everyone grieves differently. Be supportive, but don’t offer advice or platitudes. Don’t say, “At least he’s not in pain anymore,” or any variation of that. When someone is grieving, they just want their person back. Let them feel their grief. 
• Send a special card. For your grieving friend, you might forgo the traditional smiling family photo card and send a more subdued and sensitive message instead. 
• Commit. After the funeral is over and the casserole dishes are returned, many friends disappear. But the months after a death can be long and lonely. Check on your friend often, over a long period of time. 
• Donate in honor of the lost person, and let your friend know you’ve done so.

Remember that grief doesn’t just happen that first holiday season after a person is gone. Sometimes, holidays are a little sad for many years to come. However, the load does lighten with time. Though you will always long for that person in your holiday celebrations, you will eventually learn to laugh, love, and enjoy life without them. Hang in there. It really does get better. And, if needed, you can always reach out to a therapist for help.

Hoarding Disorder

What is Hoarding?

Until 2013, hoarding was characterized under the diagnosis of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. In the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, also known as the DSM-5, the pattern of hoarding is now its own diagnosis, called Hoarding Disorder.

A person with Hoarding Disorder has difficulty getting rid of possessions, and experiences significant distress when forced to do so. This often leads to excessive storage of items in their home, which then leads to clutter and disorganization that interferes with normal living. In extreme cases, home appliances might be covered and unable to be used or sanitation and safety of the home might be compromised.

Hoarding Facts

• Hoarding behaviors can start in childhood, with children trying to obtain and keep various items. Typically, parents or guardians interfere with this behavior to help keep homes tidy. However, these behaviors typically worsen with each decade of life if they are not dealt with.
• Most people who hoard have a pattern of indecisiveness.
• Traumatic and stressful events might contribute to hoarding behaviors.
• Items collected can range from newspapers, free pamphlets, clothes, or books to sentimental items or garbage. Some people hoard animals, and can have dozens to hundreds of animals in their home for which they are unable to provide proper care.
• People who hoard normally do so because they find significance in the items. They might:
  • think an item will be helpful in the future
  • have a strong emotional attachment to an item
  • not want to waste anything
  • feel safe when surrounded by their possessions.
• Hoarding is distinguished from collecting or having messy storage areas by noting that people who hoard:
  • obtain many different types of items
  • do not plan to acquire an item, yet end up holding on to any free or purchased item they get
  • live in homes where items are disorganized and take over normal living areas, interfering with daily tasks such as cooking, bathing, and storing food.
  • experience distress when asked to get rid of an item, and their hoarding behaviors are often a source of conflict in their relationships with others including family, friends, and landlords/neighbors
  • have homes that can be dangerous, presenting an increased risk of fire, falling, and being buried by items. These homes can also be unsanitary, possibly putting neighbors and visitors at risk.

 

How to Help a Person Who Hoards

Getting help for someone who hoards can be difficult. Most people do not seek treatment for hoarding, but for other issues, such as Anxiety and Depression, that are bothering them. While it might seem like cleaning out the home for this person would be a quick fix, it will not stop the hoarding behaviors. It might actually increase their tendency to hoard, and put them further from a healthy living environment and lifestyle.

Instead, begin by educating yourself about hoarding, and ask yourself how hoarding is benefiting the person. It can be helpful to speak with a mental health professional to come up with a plan of how to engage your loved one who hoards, into treatment. There are tools available, like the Clutter Image Rating Scale, that can help with this process. This tool can help them identify what their home looks like. And evaluate if their perspective is accurate. As with any mental health condition, true change will only be accomplished if the person has an internal desire to learn, understand, and try.

Treatment Options

Participating in counseling – also called psychotherapy, therapy, or talk therapy – is one of the primary methods of treating Hoarding Disorder. Counseling might include:

• Motivational Interviewing – This method helps to increase a person’s desire to change by looking at values, motivation, and small steps to achieve change.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – This form of therapy helps people identify how their thoughts influence their behaviors, and how to effectively challenge and change the problematic thoughts and behaviors.
• Psychoeducation and skills training – Taking this approach includes educating people who hoard about Hoarding Disorder, and helps them to gain skills to understand and prevent problematic behaviors.
• Structured Cleaning – Strategically cleaning out the home can be part of treatment. This should be done at specific times, with support offered to the individual to prevent relapse and increase of behaviors.
• Medication – While there is no medication specifically for the treatment of Hoarding Disorder, some psychiatrists recommend different medications to help treat Anxiety and Depression that often occur along with it.

 

Want to talk to a counselor today about this? 

Call us at 800-453-7733 and ask for your “Free 15 Minute Phone Consultation" with one of our licensed counselors. We’ll listen, answer questions you may have, and help you plan next steps.

 

Hoarding: How to help a hoarder, how to get help

• http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hoarding-disorder/home/ovc-20317407
• https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/index.shtml (used to be specific type of OCD…)
• https://pro.psychcentral.com/dsm-5-changes-obsessive-compulsive-and-related-disorders/004404.html
• https://hoarding.iocdf.org/
• https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Hoarding-Fact-Sheet.pdf

Getting Along With Your Parents

Navigating a healthy adult relationship with your parents can sometimes be difficult.  On one hand, they might still attempt to treat you like a child.  On the other, you may begin assuming a more parental role as they age.  Sometimes we want them to still nurture and care for us, and in other instances, we want to be treated as independent adults. 

Potential Problems

You and your parents are not the same people.  They are unique and so are you.  They might have different values, beliefs, interests, and priorities than you, and that’s natural.  Healthy adult relationships can appreciate both the similarities and differences.  However, this knowledge does not mean there won’t be challenges.  Here are some examples of how we might encounter problems with our parents: 

• Disagreements on how to parent and raise our own children
• Being financially dependent on our parents
• Differing core values and beliefs (political, cultural, spiritual, etc.)
• Arguments on their future medical care or living arrangements
• Resentment over childhood issues
• Continual complaining or criticism

Mutually Beneficial Relationship

Having a healthy adult relationship with your parents is possible and a worthwhile investment.  The following are guidelines on how to begin accepting your parents and building a mutually beneficial relationship: 

 

Accepting Parents

• Don’t fix- It’s acceptable to set boundaries and tell your parents what you do and don’t tolerate in your home and with your children. Be mindful though that your parents are who they are. So think about what it would look like to accept them without trying to change them.
• Don’t blame- Try being empathic with your parents. Be objective about who they are and their family history.  Avoid blaming them for your problems, as this won’t benefit you or your relationship.
• Respect their freedom- Making assumptions about your parents’ lives is never helpful. They might not want to babysit your children every time you go out or fix an appliance when it breaks.  Take responsibility for your own life.  Respect that they are adults too, and they value independence just like you do. 

Being Assertive

• Practice honesty- Your parents can’t read your mind. Be honest about who you are, what you want, and what’s important to you.  It’s unfair to expect them to know unless you tell them.
• Don’t focus on approval- When you were a child your life may have centered on your parents’ approval. As an adult you need to decide what kind of person you want to be and what’s important to you, whether your parents agree or not.  It’s natural to desire your parents’ approval, even as an adult, but this approval is no longer necessary for your life decisions.  
• Grow up- Asking your parents to do things you’re capable of doing isn’t mature. If you want to be treated like an adult, it’s important to act like one.
• Don’t ask for advice- Unless you really need your parents’ insight, don’t ask for advice. Often we ask for counsel when we’ve already mentally made our decision.  This opens the potential for conflict if they disagree with your pre-determined choice. 
• Practice forgiveness- Allow yourself to make mistakes. You might disappoint your parents, but making choices is part of adulthood.  Forgive yourself and move forward. 

Building Relationships

• Share activities- Spend time doing things you and your parents both enjoy. What activities are mutually beneficial and strengthen your relationship?  When you can look forward to time together rather than dread the interaction, your relationship with them will improve.
• Build a legacy- Consider helping your parents preserve their history and memories. You might learn things about yourself or gain a greater understanding of their background.  Photos, videos, and written memoires capture a legacy to share with other family members and grandchildren.

Managing Conflict

All relationships experience conflict, and the parent/adult child interaction is no different.  Even though it might seem easier to cut all ties, this isn’t wise.  Though it might feel better in the short-term, shutting out your parents will not resolve emotional problems. 

 

You should handle conflict with your parents like you would with any other adult that you respect.  Good communication, as you would have with a friend or coworker, is vital.  Problems are not necessarily character flaws, and they can be opportunities for growth and change. 

The transition from the parent/child to the parent/adult child relationship doesn’t need to be stressful. The turbulent adolescent years are over, and it’s possible for your relationship with your parents to blossom even more.  Though you are grown never assume your parents aren’t interested in the details of your life.  Share your dreams and goals just as you would with another friend.  Investing in a healthy adult relationship with your parents is beneficial and worthwhile; so take advantage of the opportunities while they are available. 

 

Want to talk to a counselor today about this? 

Call Amplified Life at 800-453-7733 and ask for your “Free 15 Minute Phone Consultation" with one of our licensed counselors. We’ll listen, answer questions you may have, and help you plan next steps.

 

 

Sources:

http://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-04-2013/parenting-adult-children-family-relationships.html

 

 

 

 

 

Managing Finances

With the average American credit card balance at $11,000, there’s no time like the present to start managing our finances.  Controlling personal cash flow can be difficult.  For most people, the number one problem with money management is they just want more, the higher the amount, the better to support the “buy, buy, buy” culture.  The other reason controlling finances can be complicated is due to the wealth of financial information available.  Knowing where to start can seem overwhelming. 

What is Money Management?

The term “budgeting” is sometimes used synonymously with money management.  Budgeting is simply a means to visualize how much money is coming in, going out, and how it’ll be used in the future.  After all your bills are paid, any surplus is “money in your pocket.”  Extending yourself beyond your means enters you into a liability, or debt.   

 

Financial Management Tips

If your desire is to control your money, instead of the other way around, there are small but significant money principles you can implement now.  Here are a few strategies to help you manage your money:

• Track your spending- The first step to controlling your cash is to track where it goes. Do you know how much you spend in a month on food, rent, utilities, and entertainment?  Write down how much money you use in a one-month period.  There are countless software options and apps for your mobile device to track your spending.  If you have bills you only pay once or twice a year, such as insurance policies, be sure to calculate what the monthly cost of those would be. 
• Make a monthly budget- Having a way to visualize cash flow is necessary for wise financial management. Allocate money each month to begin an emergency fund.  This can then be used for unexpected costs that arise, and it’ll keep you from having to accumulate more debt. 
  • Look for money drains- Are you losing money in ways you could easily avoid? Taking a little time now to price-compare for utilities, phone, cable, and Internet services can really make a difference.  Consider ways to trim your dining and entertainment budgets as well.  Pack your lunch, borrow movies from the library, and cancel magazine subscriptions you no longer use. 
  • Avoid impulse purchases- Buying something you really don’t need might make you feel good in the moment, but chances are, you’ll regret it later. If you don’t have the cash to buy it, you shouldn’t really be considering it.  Delaying gratification and shopping around for the best price can be exciting and rewarding.
• Save first- Deposit the money you want to save each month right away.
  • Pay yourself- When you deposit your savings first, it ensures you’ll actually do it, rather than seeing what’s left over at the end of the month.
  • Save for retirement- It seems obvious to save for the future, but we often prioritize the immediate for the long-term. Many employers offer matching programs for retirement or health savings.  Take advantage of this free money.  Today is the perfect day to start.
• Pay bills on time- Avoid late payment penalties and damage to your credit score. If you struggle to remember, set up a direct bill payment plan through your bank.  You can also make a bill payment calendar manually or through your mobile device. 
• Avoid credit card debt- If you’re unable to pay the balance on your credit cards each month, you should stop using them. It’s too easy to let your credit card debt grow faster than you can pay it off.  Instead, work on paying off the balance to avoid high interest rate charges.  Always pay more than the minimum suggested.
• Know your long-term financial goals- What are your future desires? Would you like to own a home, a new car, or help your kids through college?  Is there a certain age by which you’d like to retire?  There are a variety of tools available online to estimate these costs and help you begin saving for them today.
• Get your credit report and score- It’s important to periodically check your credit report and score for accuracy. Maintaining a high three-digit credit score can yield lower credit rates.
• Reward yourself- Having a special purchase or vacation in mind can be a useful motivator to making small, daily changes. Think about how it will feel to have a credit card or other debt paid off.  Consider how you can celebrate in a financially responsible way. 

If you’re not in a good financial place right now, it won’t help feeling guilty over the money mistakes you’ve made in the past.  Focus on the present and how you can make these simple, small changes to your everyday life.  Wise money management will positively impact you and your family’s life and future.

 

Want to talk to a counselor today about this? 

Call Amplified Life at 800-453-7733 and ask for your “Free 15 Minute Phone Consultation" with one of our licensed counselors. We’ll listen, answer questions you may have, and help you plan next steps.

 

Sources:

http://www.patreasury.gov/assets/pdf/Tips-PersonalFinance.pdf